Fall Is in the Air...

The Shark

I've got this shark.

It appeared a few years ago and it was huge and it hurt and it was scary. I didn't know what to do with it. The Shark would keep me up at night, sinking its teeth into me just before I dropped off.


It was exhausting living with The Shark day in and day out but I was at a loss.

  I tried to distract myself from it...

I tried running from it...

I tried pills...

Nothing worked.

Eventually I even became paranoid that other people could see it, knew it was there and though I know this made no sense I began to let The Shark define who I was.

And that's how I lived for a very long time. I couldn't do anything about The Shark so I just learned to live with it. Then--long story short--something happened, something good happened, and then something bad...well a couple of bad things happened and all of a sudden I found myself facing The Shark head on.

 

And to my surprise I knew exactly what to do.

I then proceeded to run through the streets encouraged by my new found confidence, not letting anything get me down. I let it shape me into, well, me. I was finally able to take back who I was, who I am, and to continue where I had left off three years ago.

It felt fucking great.

It didn't take long though--about a week--for me to realize that The Shark wasn't actually gone. At first this was a crushing blow. I figured that all of my accomplishments were for naught if The Shark was still with me. It may be much smaller than before, but wouldn't it just get bigger again as time went on? What was the point of it all? Had I gone through all that terrible crap for nothing? I was terrified.

 

More time passed and it occurred to me that even if it was still with me, The Shark wasn't the same as before and more importantly, neither was I. I figured that even if I still had to live with it at least it was more...manageable. It might still keep me up at night but it's not every night anymore. There are times when it will take me by surprise and I am struck with a sadness so crushing and overwhelmingly huge, I have to sob a lot or cry a little. 

At least now I can do that.

I'm not sure if I ever will be completely rid of The Shark. I certainly hope one day I will find something a little more comfortable to keep me company like...

...but until that day I've just got myself and the funny thing is,

Happy Birthday Goomba!